BREAKING NEWS: Another Group of Halfwits Arrested in Connection with Plot that Makes No Sense

The blogosphere is abuzz tonight with talk of the latest terror plot thwarted by the U.S. government. Apparently four guys were planning on blowing up a fuel line running beneath JFK International Airport in New York, thereby destroying the airport and much of Queens.

Luckily, "[p]olice say the men never got their hands on explosives or funding and lacked the technical expertise to attack JFK airport's fuel tanks and underground pipeline." Oh and according to the Homeland Security Department, the plan was "not technically feasible."

In other words, this plan had about as much chance of working as their first plan, which involved constructing a full-functioning replica of the Death Star and using it to terrorize the planet.

The mastermind behind this "plot" is quoted as saying:

"Anytime you hit Kennedy, it is the most hurtful thing to the United States. To hit John F. Kennedy, wow ... they love JFK -- he's like the man. If you hit that, this whole country will be in mourning. It's like you can kill the man twice."

Indeed.

So where does this terrorist plot rank relative to other recently thwarted plots? In terms of imaginary destruction, these guys probably have the Brooklyn Bridge bomber beat. He was just going to knock down a bridge; these guys were going to take out Queens. The same is probably true of the infamous Miami Seven, whose completely impossible plan involved knocking down the Sears Tower. As long as you're not constrained by reality or the laws of physics, you might as well set your sights high.

In terms of ambition-to-means ratio, however, the Brooklyn Bridge guy probably has the JFK bombers and the Miami Seven beat. After all, his plan involved single-handedly destroying the Brooklyn Bridge with nothing more than a blow torch. The other guys at least imagined they might somehow get their hands on things like explosives and weapons. One of the Miami Seven had even been to Chicago once and seen the Sears Tower (can you say 'recon'?). For my money, though, the clear winner in this category is Jose Padilla, who reportedly planned to "separate plutonium from nuclear material by rapidly swinging over his head a bucket filled with fissionable material." Now that's ambitious.

Why is it that every terrorist "plot" that has been "thwarted" over the last few years has been almost cartoonishly amateur? Are all terrorists really just a bunch of halfwits trying to play jihad in their mothers' basements? I mean, if you put all these terrorist masterminds in a room together, I doubt they'd be able to hatch a realistic plot to change a light bulb, much less carry out a successful terrorist attack. I keep hearing that terrorists are using the internet as a resource in plotting these attacks. I wonder if perhaps they're getting their guidance from this site.

Seriously, though, I'm never sure what to make of arrests like these. On the one hand, I find it encouraging that, at least in most cases, we appear to be dealing with people who don't know their asses from their elbows. On the other hand, I find it somewhat troubling that none of these people seem to have any actual connection with al Qaeda; they're merely homegrown wannabes who were "inspired" by al Qaeda. If these clowns--who live in the relative luxury of America and are far removed from the actual chaos of the Middle East--were inspired to take up arms against the U.S., I have to imagine that things are considerably worse in places like Iraq, Egypt, and Pakistan. In other words, the existence of these copycats strikes me as a sign that we're not doing too well in the war of ideas.

UPDATE: If you needed a reminder just how totally unhinged the right wing has become over the issue of terrorism, look no further than Andrew McCarthy's article today in the National Review:

The appetite grows as it feeds. Jihadists won’t stop until they break our will. Give them Somalia and they want the World Trade Center. Give them Iraq and they want JFK … and Fort Dix. They’re coming for us, they’re only too delighted to tell us they’re coming for us, and still we’re stunned when their insatiable hatred draws a bead smack in the middle of our shrinking comfort zone — this time, where a thousand flights move 125,000 people every single day.

It wasn’t merely on the flights and the unlucky infidels that Defreitas and his confederates set their sights. The complaint filed by the government explains that the “brothers” wanted to do “something bigger than the World Trade Center.” Defreitas had worked at JFK. He knew its ins and outs. He wasn’t interested in the passenger terminals — that would be child’s play. He homed in on the fuel tanks and pipelines, thousands upon thousands of flammable gallons. Enough to outdo September 11. Enough to decimate the economy. Enough to make of Queens what Ahmadinejad vows to make of Israel … and, eventually, America.

Meanwhile in the land of reality:

Richard Kuprewicz, a pipeline expert and president of Accufacts Inc., an energy consulting firm that focuses on pipelines and tank farms, said the force of explosion would depend on the amount of fuel under pressure, but it would not travel up and down the line.

“That doesn’t mean wackos out there can’t do damage and cause a fire, but those explosions and fires are going to be fairly restricted,” he said.

As Josh Marshall puts it:

So it sounds like the whole 'plot' as well as virtually all of the news coverage of said 'plot' is based on a misunderstanding of how the pipelines work.

Yep, pretty much.